Was supposed to join the Apple Dumpling clan at MGM today...
Some reasons I am still procrastinating on this:
- Completely and utterly Disneyed-out.
- Bad egg rolls.
- Spent three complete days already with them...
- Pajama pants are way, way, way too comfortable.
- Wasted too much gasoline and energy yesterday.
Some reasons I will be joining them shortly:
- Goodbye's
- I love my family
- When is it not funny to see a baby poop his pants?
- Laughter is enjoyable
- So are long conversations
Any Which Way to Smile
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Today was a weird day.
A million and a half people called me just as I was leaving for work...
Jackie, my grandmother, my aunt, my mother, three-year-old Sebastian (from one of the parks), all to sing different versions of the Birthday song.
Jackie sang to me, what Anthony Michael Hall sang in Sixteen Candles...
You say it's your birthday!... Dah na na NAna... I sayhappybirthday to you!
Sebastian sang some salsa version with his own beats.
I drove all the way to work, feeling loved.
When I actually got to work, all was filled with normality. Everyone was bustling to get their sidework done. So I buried myself in the bustle, too.
But for some reason, I don't know how... My supervisor knew what today was. She made a big deal.
By the end of the night, she had an eleven-top table, singing to me. Even the grouchy guy at the end...
Imagine, bitterly carying a tray with the fifth glass of chardonnay, a thousand ketchups, and then being sang to... By the same table you sang Happy Birthday to, a week ago.
I think I was more weirded out, than flattered.
Weirded out, because eleven strangers were making a bigger deal out of this, than I was to begin with.
Also, no one was home when I woke up... But they did leave a DVD player sitting in the middle of the living room floor... I suppose that means it's mine.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
A real update this time... On my life.
Tomorrow's my birthday, but I'm actually not excited at all. Haven't been in atleast four years. Nineteen tomorrow. For the first "me" day of my life, I feel as though I've got everything I truly need.
I don't need a computer.
Or CD's.
Or anything store-bought.
I DO need hugs... Lots and lots of hugs.
About five days after today, is my mother's birthday. She'll be fifty years old.
I didn't realize this until she told me today. I honestly believed she was 45... For atleast five years of my life... My mother has actually lied to me about her age.
Also, I have a new cousin that I wasn't clued in on until today... Her name is Avery. Born on June 22nd. I had no idea Courtney was even pregnant.
I also didn't know Sebastian was walking and talking. I know now, though...Oh, do I fucking know that...
Another situation in my life is work... After Christian goes back to Connecticut on the 4th, I believe I'll begin my hunt for a new job. Because the one I have just ain't cuttin' it. I realize I truly hate this company. Disney. I hate the upper levels of the company, like Eisner. He's just like Bush, with a better nose and wider smile.
Now's just too soon and a strange time to be stirring up a new job, with training.
Which is why I'll be waiting for a few weeks.
I'll just work Disney two days a week, like I HAVE been, and then the rest is wherever... Starbucks or something.
I'm going to go play now...
Friday, July 16, 2004
Spending some time with relatives over the next few days...
Though I don't know any set-in-stone plans yet, I don't care what we do... I'm just happy to see their faces again.
Just hoping THAT guy doesn't pop in.
That cow is a joke.
Cutie Pie there is Sebastian...No, not the ugly kid in the middle. That's Loeb. I don't know who that weird guy is.
I kid I kid.
That's Uncle Sam.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
I can't watch movies without foreseeing things anymore.
It's become annoying in the sense that, when I'm right... when the husband IS cheating on his beautiful wife, I am not surprised... In fact, I am disappointed that it wasn't something else. That it wasn't original or a unique idea that the writer came up with.
Then again, I'm annoyed that I've become so good at knowing people and their facial expressions. You can't lie to me anymore.
That sort of bothers me...
Though I may laugh and seem naive, I am not. Secretly, I know...
I know what you are thinking.
I was watching Calendar Girls, which my mother basically forced me to watch... And I noticed when the wife asked her husband for a kiss, he was stand-offish. Tried to get out of it. I noticed his expression.
Guilt written all over his face.
My mom was surprised I noticed this...
I also ask a lot of questions when watching a new movie.
People get annoyed, when I lean across the arm rest and whisper to them...
"What's she going to do next...???"
Shut up and watch the goddamn movie!
Monday, July 12, 2004
...So what does it mean when your entire left arm goes numb and tingles?
It happened in the shower today...
Washing my hair, my hand went numb. I thought maybe it was from just waking up from sleeping in a strange position. But then it didn't go away...And so now, it just tingles. Every time I use my fingers, apply pressure...
Tingles.
I remember the day I learned about patience...
I was five, and my mother was trying to get me ready to go to her parent's house for the day.
My mother was still teaching me to tie my shoe. I was in a hurry to learn. I grabbed the laces adamantly, and she said "Whoa, whoa. Be patient...Look" And I was completely still. For some reason, those words rushed through my ears, into my brain, and held me fast. That word meant something to me, for some reason.
Then I went to brush my teeth. My mom was getting angry because it was taking so long to leave. She walked in after a while, and grabbed the toothbrush. She tried to help me brush my teeth.
I remember getting angry about this, and grabbed it back from her. I said, and I STILL remember this:
"Be PATIENT".
And I totally meant it.
I think I taught my mother patience as well.
Okay, so it might be completely out of nowhere...
But if being patient means eventually being happy...
Then it's worth the wait.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Man oh man. Busy couple of days there, and I am exhausted.
Caught up with Lindsey...
Went to the RX Bandits/Catch 22/Reel Big Fish concert tonight (technically last night) with Lindsey and a few new faces. Fun fun. That was the beginning of my tiredness.
I-4 West was closed tonight, so I took 1792 to 441 (OBT). Didn't even know that road was so damned long.
...It took what should have been 35 minutes, approximately two hours, to get home today... And I was tired to begin with. Spent toll money on a Red Bull for a kick in my energy level.
I don't think I'd have any problem with using this keyboard as a substitute pillow.
I'll fill in blanks later! Goodnight!
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
She doesn't understand that people relate to things.
She likes to relate, but she doesn't like to be scared into thoughts. The Silence of the Lambs hit too close to home for her. Watching another movie along the same lines of a serial killer is too realistic for her taste, I suppose.
I got into an argument with my mother tonight about these kinds of movies and how the main purpose of their making, is to help one to realize the stories behind people's God-fearing actions. Then she made a comment that these stories make people famous. That for some, being a serial killer, is the only way to fame and glory, and that leads people to destruct lives. Yes, that's true, I suppose...
I stated that Bowling for Columbine was filmed with that same thought in mind, to make people realize how actions affect. She still hates that movie.
I asked her why, and her only answer was "It's too sad. Too real."
Tsk.
It's the same thing with politics.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
The Change
Here is something I've noticed... Things change. Sometimes it's the most unusual things that change. Things like people's lives, even. These days, most everyone I know is drastically changing with ever-increasing days, and that's just fine by me. Because I'll welcome those changes with open arms. I am an open-minded person.
I'm an open-minded person, however... This is ridiculous. Fortune cookies were the stable icon of Chinese cuisine for decades. Now they're making them yin-yan? I don't get it.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Flipping through channels, my mother states:
"Where do people come up with this? ...Three inbred cannibals??!"
My day was normal. It included coughing on someone. Again. I couldn't help it. But the guy laughed and proceeded to leave me a $30 tip.
I can't complain.
This job allows me to walk away with atleast 80 dollars on a slow night. But the whole concept to me, still, is jumbled and horrific... And just not a very important asset to me. Which is why I'm seriously considering looking for a different job with the same company. I just can't continue with so much clutter on my mind, wishing I could do better for myself. I have take action soon. I have to do something.
Now that that is said... I'm taking care of this apartment thing once and for all, within the next few days. I no longer wish to worry about anything else related to finances. Been organizing myself, so maybe it'll help with making all upcoming payments ontime in the future.
It's amazing how good I am becoming at organizing myself.
Most people would look through my folder with all the bank statements and receipts, and think "what the fuck is all this... makes no sense... pig".
I know this is boring, but I don't care. It makes me feel more secure to actually have this down in writing.
I am bettering myself... Financially.
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Religious Talk will get you a free meal.
Still stuffy and still bored. It's the Fourth of July, happy day to everyone! But I'll be sitting around making phone calls to people I feel are in need of one. I'm feeling the need today, to reconnect myself to old friends again.
I know I must sound bipolar. Saying I don't wish to be close to many people... Well, that's cruel. I don't want to be close to half the people I knew in high school. I'm sorry, but it's true. So if one day, perchance, you read this and take it to heart; it probably isn't you I'm talking about.
I'm not exactly sure what I feel up to doing today... Told Brian I'd play some Scrabble with him. Not exactly sure I feel all that great. Told my mother I'd go see Spider Man with her... Same deal.
Maybe I'll just settle with my book and watch All the Real Girls. And sleep.
By the way... I slept for 14 hours today:o)
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Signs 
I've taken an interest in weird signs today...
This one is a Hobo Sign meaning "You may sleep in the hayloft here".
Just thought you needed that little bit of useless information.
More to come, though I am going to watch Lost in Translation now...
A realization has occured...
There is no longer any desire to become close to anyone that reads my journal. The insignificant details everyone writes about is no longer encouraging to me. I'd rather write about feelings and important happenings. I can't be honest on my Live Journal anymore.
Came home early last night from work, due to sneezing on a pasta platter. Then After a small amount of lactose-free macaroni and cheese, and some peanutbutter on a spoon; there was this exploding urge to talk to someone. To speak freely about things in my life.
I needed to vent, I think.
But I figured I didn't want to inconvenience anyone through the phone with that, so I wrote in a real journal. One with a black G-2 pen. There was a lot of nonsense and random quotes involved. Thoughts from the back of my mind, and I hadn't exposed my mind through paper in a very long time. So none of it made sense. But atleast I felt better, emotionally.
Yesterday was kind of tough for me. Saying goodbye and all. But it's not a goodbye forever... Just a goodbye for now. Still, it's a pending thought, and I'm sort of sitting still at the moment... I suppose that has to do with my being lethargic and stuffy in the forehead.
All, the same... I did make an appointment with Lance, my glassblowing mentor, for Wednesday. And I can't wait to get started again. To jump back into the productive Merry-go-Round.
